What's a Fair-Trade
Pumpkin Spice Latte?
Greedy, Selfish, Free-Market Capitalism (GSFMC), through the organic efficiencies of market-based forces, delivered untold coffee varieties from all over the world to countless coffee shops on virtually every street corner, offering every type of wonderful beverage and treat imaginable.
The Socialism™ Difference
The SoCoffee ordering app simplifies all that by offering one, official Socially-Utilitarian Coffee (SUC) Blend for your enjoyment. With a collective running the show, and without incentives like profits or competition driving innovation, Socialism™ jettisoned a few superfluous GSFMC products like exotic fair-trade coffees. Oh, and espressos, cappuccinos, macchiatos, lattes, mochas, hot chocolates, cold brews, smoothies, frozen drinks, juices, flavors, teas, scones, cookies, pastries, bagels, muffins, doughnuts, breads, and yogurt parfaits. There is, however, decaf.
The SUC Blend or Nothing
The Socialism™ SUC Blend is lovingly produced in a collectively-regulated factory, and guaranteed "fresh as socialistically possible," given what passes for our distribution system.
Let every sip of the SUC Blend warm your heart in the knowledge that supreme fairness has finally gripped our land. Sublime.