Social Media App
Let's Share Property, Not Opinions
Greedy, Selfish Free-Market Capitalism (GSFMC) not only had us all awash in more choices, breakthroughs, innovations, and prosperity than we could handle, it sure let us in on way too many opinions and personalities. GSFMC social media allowed just about anybody and everybody to spout off about almost anything. Once Socialism™ took over, we quickly learned that that quaint notion called "free speech" was really just another phrase for "oversharing."
Zero Self Expression =
One Big Like from Socialism™
We'll admit, at first, collectively launching a social media outlet proved daunting. The opinions and viewpoints amongst the collective proved so diverse that consensus on its utility proved elusive. So for maximum benefit to all, we pulled a Fahrenheit 451 and made SoSocial Opinion-Free, By Decree! (Nifty tagline, huh?) Post anything deemed likely to offend, peeve, miff, ruffle a feather, step on a toe, or start a snit, and you will be instantly, irrevocably and permanently terminated from the app.
Media, Sanitized for
So keep posting those cuddly cat pics (hope it's not declawed) and feel free to exchange recipes (for dishes with no known cultural pedigree), and SoSocial will deliver them as the network allows. Of course, with Socialism™ now running all internet and cellular operations, maintaining (let alone improving) the sophisticated networking marvel that GSFMC left us is tough, sans competition. Oddly, most formerly-six-figure-salaried network engineers also lost interest when the compensation, perks and bonuses previously gleaned for their individual ideas and skills were simply swallowed, unacknowledged and unrewarded, by the collective. Who knew when the youngsters dialed up the pressure for Socialism™ that they'd soon be hearing the dialup tones of the past? Bzzzz ka-bing ka-bong...go make a sandwich while you wait for that JPEG to load, kid. Ain't history fun!